The Friendship Circle of Great Neck

“What am I doing here? Why did I ever sign up for this?”
The room was loud, crowded, and demanding as temperamental autistic children threw unexpected fits.

Within my first five steps into the Friendship Circle Center, a ragged old house on the corner of East Shore Road, in Great Neck, N.Y., I already knew it wasn’t the place for me. However, I was suddenly attracted to a young girl who was sitting on the other side of the room. Her warm, loving smile and the happiness shining from her eyes immediately fascinated me. Staring at her cheerful eagerness as she completed the last few pieces of her alphabet puzzle, I realized there was something particularly special about her.

Mr. Rosenthal, the Friendship Circle director, informed me that I would be working with a ten year old girl named Joelle who had an undiagnosed form of mental retardation. My job would be to provide companionship, support, and encouragement for the special needs child assigned under my care. Joelle was adopted at birth, as a perfectly healthy child, by a lovely couple that was unable to have children of their own. Unexpectedly, due to a virus at the age of three, Joelle developed a mental impairment.

Mr. Rosenthal called me over to introduce me to my “friend.” He led me across the room to a small yellow table in corner where she sat with her puzzle. I couldn’t believe it. Joelle was the girl for whom I felt such a strong attraction when I first walked into the room that morning! Something about her warmth of attitude made me feel welcome and perfectly comfortable.

From that first day three and a half years ago, I have spent almost every Sunday morning playing, learning, and laughing with Joelle. In addition to our weekly meetings, I occasionally took Joelle bowling, out for pizza, or to see the latest Disney movie. As the years passed, it became increasingly obvious that Joelle not only appreciated me but really thought of me as a true friend.

My week always started with the sweet flowery scent of Joelle’s hair as she wrapped herself into my arms in the beginning of our session each Sunday morning. The months flew by and Joelle remained as happy as always until one Sunday morning in early May, the Sunday morning that would change my life. I arrived at the Friendship Circle center a little late and immediately noticed the back of Joelle’s head as she sat alone at a yellow table in the corner of the room. Expecting the usual hug and kiss, followed by a scream of joy and laughter, I lightly tapped Joelle’s shoulder to grab her attention. Instead, Joelle turned her chair, stood up staring straight into my eyes, and slapped me across the face. She screamed, yelled, punched my shoulder, and kicked my legs. I didn’t know what was happening. My heart raced, my fingers trembled, and my body began to shake. Never in my life had I been as petrified as I was that exact moment. “What had happened to Joelle? Why didn’t she remember me? Why was she acting like this?” As the questions rushed through my head, tears began to run down my cheeks.

Mr. Rosenthal saw what had happened and hurried over to calm Joelle down and explain to me her sudden aggressive behavior. A few days earlier, he explained, Joelle’s doctor changed her medication in hope of reducing her mental impairments. The doctors didn’t know if the new medication would successfully work on Joelle, but warned her parents that the change might affect her personality and behavior. It wasn’t Joelle’s fault for hitting me; it was the effect of her new medication.

Joelle didn’t play and laugh with me that Sunday morning. She wasn’t the gregarious, high spirited, friendly girl I used to know. And it was only then that I realized I needed Joelle to be my friend as much as she needed me to be hers. After three years of standing by her, as she grew and developed from a lonely ten-year old child into a wonderful teenage girl, I finally recognized how much Joelle had added to my own life all along.

As I left the Friendship Circle Center that Sunday morning, my life was not the same. It was missing something-Joelle. Joelle made me realize that giving to others was something I wanted to do with my life. She showed me that being a mentor, teacher, and educator were each important and fulfilling. Being a friend, however, was more valuable. I never thought that volunteering my time at the Friendship Circle would give me something back; yet, it gave me a gift I would not have been able to obtain anywhere else, the gift of “friendship.”

I hope to take my experiences with Joelle and use them to be a better educator and teacher one day. As Joelle said when she was only 11 years old, “teachers are the best people in the world!”